Dealing With Unpleasant Negotiators
By Raynor James, Fri Dec 9th
Selling your house yourself can be intimidating if you're doingit the first time. Here's how to deal with unpleasantnegotiators.
Unpleasant Negotiators
Sometimes you encounter someone who is not going to be happyunless he maneuvers you into accepting less than your home isworth or doing things for his benefit that are unreasonable.Then what? Well, first let's discuss the most common forms thesenasty types take and then we'll talk about what to do with them.
One frequent form the unpleasant negotiator takes is the personwho tries to intimidate you and disparage your property. Redflags should go up if someone works hard at trying to get you onthe defensive. I'm not talking about an occasional negativeremark. What I'm talking about is a whole string of them and theattitude
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that goes with it. Even if it's cloaked in theappearance of classic good manners and charm, you're dealingwith a rascal.
The second typical form an unpleasant negotiator takes is the"nibbler." You think negotiations are over and that the two ofyou have come to a mutually acceptable agreement. Then atvarious points as you progress toward completion of the salesprocess, the other person "nibbles." They usually pretend theyhad no idea that the carpet needed to be stretched, the roofneeded to be replaced, the crystal chandelier in the dining roomdid not convey, or fill-in-the-blank, and use that as an excuseto change things. This process can and does continue right up tothe point of settlement or the point the deal falls apart,whichever comes first!
The Walk-Away Secret
Sometimes you get these two nasty types in one negotiator, butdon't despair. You can cope with them. The first thing you needto do is to stay in a calm, evaluating frame of mind. At eachstep along the way, ask yourself, "Is this reasonable? Am Iwilling to do this in order to make a sale?" Proceed as long asthe answer is "yes."
Be willing to walk away if the answer becomes "no." I cannotover emphasize the power of "being willing to walk away" fromnegotiations. Don't read that phrase too quickly. Be "willing towalk away." It is one of the strongest negotiating tools on theplanet. It's simple. It does not require being nasty. However,what it does require is that you not consider your home sold (orbought, for that matter) until all negotiations are really over.
Think about it. You put yourself in a "losing posture" with anasty negotiator the moment you emotionally consider your housesold. So long as you're willing to walk away, you have powerthat is as strong as the buyer's wish to buy. If such a "deal"blows up, so be it. You weren't going to get what you wantedfrom it anyway.
Now, a word about "nibbles." There is a civilized way to copewith this. Don't hop into doing it until you really feel it is anibble or you become a nasty negotiator yourself. However, anibble can be dealt with by inquiring blandly, "If I do that foryou, will you do 'fill-in-the-blank' for me?" Your goal is toconvey to the nibbler that each successful nibble will cost himsomething. Make it something significant relative to the nibblerequest.
If you don't think fast on your feet, you can always say, "I'llget back to you on that." Don't allow yourself to be rushed ifyou think best when you mull things over. Stay calm andthoughtful. No one can force you to make a sale or purchasethat's not in your best interest. Keep evaluating the situation,and stay open to the possibility that you may need to walk awayuntil the sale is complete. That way you won't force yourself todo what's not in your best interest either. It's not easy, butit's very simple. Stay in control of yourself.
About the author:Raynor James is with http://www.fsboamerica.org - providing FSBOhomes For Sale By Owner. Visit our "sell my home" page athttp://www.fsboamerica.org/seller.cfm to list and sell your homefor free for one month. Visithttp://www.fsboamerica.org/buyer.cfm to see homes for sale byowner.
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